The Winter Olympics are in full swing and after several days (and a lifetime) of observation, I’ve got a few ideas for making the events more exciting. No, my suggestions will never be adopted, but maybe it’ll encourage Vince McMahon to start his own Winter Games…
- Short Track Speed Skating & Snowboard Cross: allow the racers to push and shove as much as they’d like…essentially roller derby on ice and snow. All the rules and controversy over interference are lame and highly subjective (read: politically motivated). A free-for-all would be much more entertaining and controversy-free.
- Luge & Bobsled: Gaps in the track, adding an airborne element. Flaming hoops for the finals runs.
- Alpine Skiing: yeah, the slaloms are a more difficult/exciting version of the downhill, but the flags are stationary and, therefore, predictable. What they need to do is just let wild animals loose on the hill. Squirrels, badgers, bears, moose, etc. That’ll spice it up. And how about a three-legged downhill event? Think three-legged races at picnics when you were a kid. Two skiers, inside legs tied together, three skis. Go!
- Ski Jumping: like my Alpine Skiing suggestion, animals would make this event more interesting. As soon as the athletes take off, release doves! Or maybe hummingbirds. Anything that jumpers would have to fight through.
- Speaking of fighting, there aren’t any combative events in the Winter Games (the Summer Games have boxing, martial arts, and wrestling). How about adding a Snowball Fight event?
- Biathlon: for my money, this is the best Olympic event — Winter or Summer. Skiing and shooting…awesome. How do you make the best Olympic event even better? Have the athletes shoot while skiing! Now that takes some skill. Better yet, have moving targets, as well: skeet shooting while skiing! I dare you to top that.