Holiday Inn is experimenting with a free guest service in two of its hotels in London and Manchester: human bed warmers. Rather than installing heating elements in the beds or supplying other non-sentient warming devices, upon your request, they’ll send up an employee wearing an “all-in-one sleeper suit” (Snuggie?) to hang out in your bed for a five-minute “bed warming session”. Wow! I can’t decide if that’s brilliant or creepy. At first glance, the needle points more to the creepy side. In any case, here are some questions to ponder…
- Can you choose the person you want to warm up your bed? The gender, at least?
- If you’re lonely, will the warmer stay longer?
- Do the warmers chat you up? Or do they follow Academy Award seat-filler protocol?
- Is there employee training or do they just wing it?
- If there are two of you, will they send up two warmers? Or will one warmer just roll around a lot?
- What if Robert Downey, Jr. appears in your bed?
- Can you ask for a dog, instead?
- Do you get a new room if the warmer farts in your bed?