A-Rod. Centaur. WTF?

In case you haven’t heard, Alex Rodriguez allegedly has two portraits of himself as a centaur hanging over his bed. There are so many obvious questions this story raises, but let’s ask a few of the less obvious ones.

  • As strange as it is, I suppose I could justify one centaur self-portrait. But two? Why would he need two? Did he get a volume discount? My buddy Tom suggests that maybe one is erect and one is flaccid. I don’t buy that…nothing is more of a mood-killer than a flaccid centaur self-portrait above your bed.
  • Perhaps there are two portraits in order to provide some sort of freaky 3-D effect?
  • Is one centaur holding a bat and the other wearing a mitt?
  • Are the centaurs wearing a Mariner, Ranger, or Yankee jersey?
  • Are the horse halves more muscular than a normal horse is? (horse growth hormone?)
  • Did Prince put him up to it?
  • Are they velvet paintings? For some reason, I think that would make it more acceptable.
  • Does Fabio appear in either portrait?
  • Makes you wonder what kind of portrait Barry Bonds has hanging in his bedroom, doesn’t it?

Come on, Us Weekly, keep digging!



Filed under Random, Social/Cultural/Political, Sports

2 responses to “A-Rod. Centaur. WTF?

  1. Dansk

    Can you really tell if the lower half is actually horse or jackass? Horse steroids would equally well in both, I think.

  2. pcm

    One’s a pitcher, one’s a catcher.
    (This has nothing to do with baseball.)

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